As you may have seen from other blog posts on the Insider, October is mental health month. There are a number of events taking place that you can find here.
Each week will have a focus on one of the ‘Ways to Wellbeing’. To get more of an overview on all of them, visit here.
This week the theme is Connect. We have all felt disconnected from each other over the past year, and virtual communication can only go so far to reconnect us, especially if we only communicate on a surface level.
Before we get more into connection, I want to talk about the Stress Container, which is a really useful metaphor for understanding your own stress levels, and other peoples.
This is a great video, it’s only three minutes and explains it really well:
In summary:
But how does this link to connection?
When we are stressed and have too much to do, meaningful connection can be lost, and we tend to focus on ourselves, our problems and our stressors. This is human nature! But, by taking a minute to consider what else people are going through which we may or may not know about can ensure our responses and behaviours remain kind and empathetic.
How stressful someone finds an experience, will depend on the size of their stress container, the amount of other stress that has been filling it up recently, and the success of their coping mechanism tap. This means that different people may find the same situation significantly more or less stressful and will react accordingly. The person who experiences a situation as less stressful is not stronger or more resilient than someone else who finds it more stressful – they just have a different container they are processing the event through.
So, the next time you find yourself wondering why someone is reacting to a situation so differently to you, take a moment to think about their stress container. Consider what else you know they have going on – at work or at home – and be kind in case they have things going on you may not know about.
Also remember that if your stress container is getting too full, you may start to find it difficult to connect with others. So make sure that your tap of coping mechanisms is working effectively. We will be talking more about ways to do this in the coming weeks within the rest of the pillars to wellbeing.