Talking wellbeing with Naomi Clarke

This month we’re sharing wellbeing stories from people across the business to help inspire you and give you a few ideas of how to prioritise your own wellbeing as well as support others.

We caught up with Naomi Clarke, Technology Communications Manager who’s experienced firsthand the importance of prioritising wellbeing. 

“According to the dictionary, wellbeing is the state of being comfortable, healthy or happy. Wellbeing is important to me because without a tidy mind basket, my world can (and does) easily flip into chaos.  I can tell when things are getting too much for me because things pop into my head in a random unorganised fashion.  I can be in the midst of an important task, and then random daily stuff starts to pop in my mind.  Anything from I must get tonight’s tea out of the freezer; I must walk the dog, I must get the washing on.  ‘I must, I must, I must.’   The pressure we put ourselves under each day builds – for me I notice it in my self talk.  On the days where I’m not giving myself a break and being kind to myself – the self talk becomes more critical. That’s when I realise I haven’t been sticking to my wellbeing plan*, I’ve worked through my walking time, I’ve not had lunch, and I’ve been staring at a screen without a break for too long – so I press the reset button, go for a walk and come back feeling refreshed.

One day I just woke up and felt different. 45 years of being strong finally got me.  I was lucky, I’ve worked through it and I work hard to keep in the light and be my own counsellor.  But the feeling of It’s safer under the duvet, and of being afraid as to so much as look out of the window at the outside world – it was real and it’s made me who I am today.

I remember I felt so ashamed at the time of what I was going through, I didn’t want anyone else to know, didn’t want their judgement, I felt so weak.  I had a fear inside me that if people knew what I was going through they would use it against me.  Now, I have to believe we live in a kind world, where others wouldn’t take the advantage like that. I realise if we don’t talk about it – all we do is keep the stigma alive.  So yeah, my name’s Naomi and I live with depression & anxiety. (Look at that? The world’s still turning, life carries on, in the nicest of ways no one cares – no harm done!)

The last 12 months has taught me that making time for me is just as important as the time I make for everyone else in my life. We all need our chill out time.  My mind relaxes and unwinds over Netflix – I love a good box set!  I recently watched The Mandalorian (ok that’s the Disney Channel!) also ‘Outlander’ and prior to that ‘Designated Survivor’.  All brilliant in my opinion.  So I’d always recommend reserving your slot on the sofa to watch whatever get’s you feeling ‘I’ll just watch one more!”

Being in lockdown has been hard for everyone, not being able to meet up with close friends and family.  However it’s also been good for me because it’s made me stop and think about scheduling time to catch up with those special people over the phone – and yeah sure facetime is an option, along with Zoom, but for me – talking on a phone, in a way it was invented for all those years ago, well that works for me!  (My generation grew up with TV adverts such as ‘The in -phone’ and the British Telecom – ‘It’s good to talk’ campaign)  Talking to my besties regularly is the one thing I make sure I always do.  They are my support team and I theirs.  We take it in turns to catch each other and prop each other up again. It’s what good friends do.

My daughter needs different support, her life has been about adapting to secondary school – and ‘schooling from home,’ which brings different challenges for her. Like any parent, I can tell when my child is worried about something, so to help with her opening up, one day I got a jar, and some pieces of paper, and then we each wrote down what was worrying us, and we went through them together. This now helps us understand what the other’s needs are in order to better support each other. It sure is better than those ‘I’m fine’ responses…

Being kind to yourself and those you meet each day is also so important. You might find yourself in a meeting with someone, but you can tell something is on their mind, they aren’t themselves. If it’s the two of you, ask them – use the time to be supportive. If there’s a large attendance, why not catch up with them afterwards and ask if they are ok?

And if you don’t feel equipped to ask yourself, let someone close to them know, or reach out to a Mental Health Aware colleague so someone can check in and ask the question.

My top tips for wellbeing are … understand what makes you happy and find ways to incorporate them into your life.  Yes, friends, family, children make us happy.  But what are the sports, the hobbies, the interests you have, where you are feeling something that brings you that ‘you’ ness?  That’s the stuff I mean!  Find that happy, and cherish the time you can allocate to it.  Find your happy!

I’d also recommend simply asking for help and support when you know you need it.  We can all run away, I empathise should you not want to escape from under the duvet.  But I promise you, the one thing that really really helps is talking.  (It’ll also be the one thing you likely don’t want to do.)  But that’s the battle, and only you can take the step forwards.  You could speak to your friend, a member of your family or one of the many support channels that Carnival UK provide. There’s no shame in needing to talk to someone, no shame in asking for help and by talking about our most trying days. Carnival UK has a great attitude towards mental health. We’re encouraged to talk about it. Only together, by talking about how we’re feeling can we break the old fashioned stigmas associated with mental health.

My recommendations: 

• Listen to hear – not to respond (let someone vent, they need to burn off what’s inside more than they need solutions!)
• Be kind – to yourself as well as those you meet each day.
• Find your happy – and do that as often as you can.
• Ask for help – when you need it.
• Have a wellbeing plan* – understand the things that help you relax and unwind your mind. For me that’s walking the dog – which I weave into my daily routine.  It could be meditation, a hot bath, taking 30 minutes to think and unpack your mind, going for a run.  It’s knowing where your pressure points are, what triggers them and what you can do to restore the balance before they go off or if they’ve been triggered. It’s what brings you back to you – restoring that feeling of being comfortable, healthy and happy. 
• Take your breaks – block out time in your diary to take your breaks and get outside for some fresh air if you can.

Remember, if you’d like to speak to someone about any worries you have visit The Insider for all support available to you, including access to our Employee Support Programme – a confidential, 24/7 support service.

Want more wellbeing stories? Read more from Gareth Watt.