Telling people about your sexual orientation or gender identity is often called ‘coming out’. It’s something unique to each individual – people face different challenges when coming out. National Coming Out Day isn’t a day to force LGBTQIA+ people to come out, or to shame people who haven’t done so. It’s a day to celebrate the beauty of being true to yourself, for having the courage to share an important part of your life with others, and for celebrating those who may come out to you. National Coming Out Day should also be a day to acknowledge the difficulties of coming out, and to remember that it’s still not something all LGBTQIA+ people can safely do.
Keith Haring designed the first Coming Out Day logo in 1988. The black inside of the closet and the colours on the outside can be seen to represent the feeling of coming out and being able to live life to the fullest.
While “coming out” can be empowering for some, it can be overwhelming for others. Some believe that “coming out” perpetuates a harmful power dynamic that pressures LGBTQIA+ individuals to “confess” their identities to the public, which is not something that cisgender heterosexuals are expected to do. The pressure of “coming out” creates negative feelings that if LGBTQIA+ identities are not publicly shared, that LGBTQIA+ individuals are being dishonest to themselves and society.
The concept of “coming out” is also portrayed to be a one-time event, which is not true. LGBTQIA+ individuals face the pressure of “coming out” whenever they meet new people or are in new places. Because stereotypes and strict categorisations about LGBTQIA+ people are still commonplace, some people find that they’re assumed to be straight or cisgender. Often bi people are assumed to be straight or gay, depending on their partner. The pressure can be overwhelming when expected to “come out” in environments that don’t value or respect LGBTQIA+ identities, experiences, or safety.
But should it be ‘coming out’ or ‘inviting in’?
“Coming out” refers to the process of LGBTQIA+ individuals letting one’s sexuality or gender identity be known both privately and publicly.
The narrative of “inviting in” challenges the concept of “coming out.” “Inviting in” gives LGBTQIA+ individuals the power and choice to choose who they want to share their sexuality or gender identity with. This narrative removes the overwhelming connotations of “coming out” and supports the idea that sexuality and gender identity are yours to share if and when you’d like to.
Over the last few decades since National Since Coming Out Day was first recognised, we’ve seen huge progress for the LGBTQ+ community, with legislation on same-sex marriage, discrimination laws, and educational reforms all helping to protect and support LGBTQ+ people. However, these legal developments don’t mean that the fight for LGBTQ+ rights is over. In the UK, we continue to see LGBTQ+ people suffer from attacks, hate, and abuse. Across the world, LGBTQ+ people are still campaigning for laws and attitudes alike to change. For many, coming out can be dangerous – or simply not an option.
Everyone is welcome at Carnival UK however they identify.
Spectrum, Carnival UK’s LGBT+ & Friends employee-led network, supports belonging and inclusion by championing, challenging and celebrating the LGBT+ agenda. Encouraging colleagues to be curious, we drive allyship to promote positive change across Carnival UK and the communities we are a part of, creating a feeling of belonging for everyone. Find out more here.
Everyone is welcome at Carnival UK however they identify.