As part of sexual health month, we’re talking about a topic which can sometimes feel a little uncomfortable. Sexual consent.
Sexual consent has gained a lot of media attention over the last two years since the start of the #metoo movement in 2017. People from all around the world have been sharing their own stories of rape, assault and harassment. In Spain it became #YoTambien, in France it became #BalanceTonPorc, (roughly translated as “expose your pig”); in Italy #quellavoltache (“That Time When”) and in Israel, a Hebrew phrase translated as “Us Too”.
There is now more awareness around the issue of consent than every before, and when it comes to sexual consent, there are no ‘grey areas’ – without consent, it’s sexual assault. Here’s some important information to clear up any grey areas:
What is consent?
- Consent is an agreement between two or more people to engage in sexual activity. Without consent, sexual activity is sexual assault or rape.
- Consent is never implied by things like your past behavior, what you wear, or where you go.
- Sexual consent is always clearly communicated — there should be no question or mystery.
- There are many ways to give consent, and it doesn’t have to be verbal, but verbally agreeing to different sexual activities can help both you and your partner(s) respect each other’s boundaries.
- There are laws about who can consent and who can’t. People who are underage (age varies by country), drunk, high, or passed out can’t consent to sex.
How does consent work in real life?
- Communication. When you’re engaging in sexual activity, consent is about communication. And it should happen every time.
- Freely given. Consenting is a choice you make without pressure, manipulation, or under the influence of drugs or alcohol.
- Reversible. Anyone can change their mind about what they feel like doing, anytime. Even if you’ve done it before, and even if you’re both naked in bed.
- Informed. You can only consent to something if you have the full story. For example, if someone says they’ll use a condom and then they don’t, there isn’t full consent.
- Enthusiastic. When it comes to sex, you should only do stuff you WANT to do, not things that you feel you’re expected to do.
- Specific. Saying yes to one thing (like going to the bedroom for some privacy to kiss someone) doesn’t mean you’ve said yes to other sexual activity.
- Changing your mind. ‘Yes’ yesterday doesn’t mean yes today. You can withdraw consent at any point if you feel uncomfortable.
Got a question about sexual consent? You can talk to someone confidentially, through our Employee Assistance Programme providers:
On board – Phone card access code: 2222-2222-2222 Dial: 222-222
Shoreside – Call Validium on 0800 3 58 48 58 or join validium.com/vClub