My name is Andy Stamp and it is fair to say that I suffer from depression. I realise now that I have had depression periodically through much of my adult life, but it is not until 2 years ago, while working for Carnival UK that I was actually diagnosed and able to identify the signs and begin to manage it.
From the outside looking in, there appears to be no real reason for me to be depressed. I have a good home life, I have been married for ten years and have two lovely children (a six year old boy and two month old baby girl). I have a good education (I’m a qualified accountant) and have a successful career.
Underneath all of this though is a very personal struggle. And I think that is key for anyone who is suffering with any form of mental health, whether its depression, stress or anxiety. It can feel very personal, sometimes lonely and simple things become very difficult to cope with. It is also hard to predict when it may occur. Sometimes there is a specific trigger, such as a stressful situation at home or work, and sometimes it just creeps up for no apparent reason. In both cases, its effect is the same and many sufferers will recognise the lack of self confidence, over analysis of situations, fear of failure and irritability with almost everything.
For me it was very hard to ask for the help I needed two years ago. Like most men, I am reluctant to get medical help for anything, but as the symptoms increased it put stress on my family and something need to stop.
Surprisingly, the decision to get support was the hardest part. Once I had been diagnosed by my GP it was a relief to tell my family. I then told my work, something I had worried about for a long time. When I spoke with my line managers and my HR partner, I received fantastic support throughout the process. I made use of the Carnival EAP to get 1-2-1 counselling as well as Cognitive Based Therapy through the NHS, both of which helped me through.
Lifestyle obviously has a significant influence, so I try and be active and healthy as much as I can, and there are also techniques I have learnt to help me manage it so that I am able get past it quickly and it is these that I would like to share:
- Be honest about it. You may not want to share it with everyone, but there isn’t a reason to hide it away and certainly don’t suffer in silence. My biggest issue was denying it to myself which meant I wasn’t getting the support I needed. I am now able to talk to my manager openly about it and this helps balance the demands of my job with my personal wellbeing.
- Use the rule of 3. Three things to be grateful for, three things that made you smile today, three kindnesses. These are all great techniques for focusing on what is good in your life.
- Do something frivolous for yourself. This is something I was advised in my counselling – as a result I bought a Ducati Motorbike ! It doesn’t need to be a big thing though. I now set aside a small amount of money each month to spend on something for me. Since doing this I have had trials for a baseball team, built a model yacht, brewed my own beer and baked bread.
- Give yourself a break. Depression, stress and anxiety can often be a result of unreasonable expectations you put on yourself, so you need to know its okay not to get it right all the time. I also now plan in down time just to be at home and do nothing but watch a movie with family and get a takeaway, and really enjoy it too.
- Remember that you can do anything that someone who doesn’t have depression can. Just like any health condition, depression and anxiety shouldn’t stop you from achieving your goals. Yes, you will have to factor in how a situation will impact you, but there is a support network there to help you manage it. Also consider that if you have experienced someone with depression or anxiety you may be more empathetic to others as well.
So 2 years on, I still suffer from depression, but it doesn’t overwhelm me as much as it used to and most of the time I am happy, positive and have joy back in my life. I just remember that when things start to get difficult, I can ask for help.
Your Employee Assistance Programme (EAP)
For confidential help and support when you need it the most, contact your EAP. They provide counselling, support and practical information for whatever problems colleagues are facing. It’s free to use and the service is available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.
Shore colleagues – Validium
Call: 0800 3 58 48 58 (outside the UK +44 141 271 7179)
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Online: guidanceresources.com (web ID: CarnivalEAP)
9 Comments
I commend you for writing such an open & honest article, Andy, that I’m sure will be a huge help & provide insight for many. Well done you.
Great article Andy – very brave to share with such candour, and I hope if anyone out there has any mental health concerns they’re bottling up this will inspire some action.
I’ve experienced issues personally, and with my wife and daughter. I didn’t seek help at the time, and looking back I should have. Both my wife and daughter had great support from the NHS, friends and family and it was instrumental to helping deal with things.
Thanks for being open and sharing your story Andy, it really resonated with me. It’s good to know the support is there and I’m glad the ‘black dog’ is a bit further away from you at the moment.
Takes real courage to speak up mental health, admire you for sharing your experience to benefit others.
Well done Andy for such a super open article, hope this allows others to access their mental wellbeing and move forward as you do in such a positive way.
Thank you for sharing your story Andy. Really brave of you and very inspiring. The more we can talk openly about mental health challenges, the better.
I’ve got a copy of book below which I read with my kids which I hope is helping them understand that message from a young age. One that your six year old might enjoy too. 🙂
https://www.amazon.co.uk/Huge-Bag-Worries-Virginia-Ironside/dp/0340903171
Thank you Andy, the more people that share their stories – the less of a stigma I hope mental health issues become. It’s great that you have had such positive support and also that you have identified your triggers to help you manage them better. Thanks again for being so open and honest. Inspiring.
Great article Andy. There is so much stigma out there about depression and mental health it takes real courage to speak up and open yourself up – I have no doubt this will be a great help for anyone struggling to reach out for help. Well done.
Thank you Andy for sharing your story. It’s good to hear the support you have received from your family, doctors the NHS and Carnival.
I know it is really difficult for people to have open and honest conversations with their Managers and colleagues – although it is good to talk and share the load, sometimes the hardest thing.
We all need to remember that most people have things going on in their lives – they just don’t all want to talk about it. Great tips from the support you have received – it sounds like you are having fun!