Hands up if you’re one of those people who likes to know the answer…
Me!
Yep, I do. I’m not too proud to admit it. And yes, I even have a little victory dance that I subject my family to when I know the answer on a TV quiz or identify the killer in a detective programme. And let’s not pretend like I’m the only one…
But recently, I was one of about 30 Carnival UK-ers that had the opportunity to take part in an event hosted by Carnival Corporation CEO Arnold Donald and his leadership team in Orlando, and it’s prompted me to think a bit differently about how important it is to me personally to know the answer.
The purpose of the event was to give people from all of the different brands the opportunity to connect, but also to get us to explore our beliefs and behaviours around three themes which Arnold and co believe will be integral to the company’s future success: relentless curiosity, real commitment, and diversity and inclusion. Each of us who were lucky enough to go made the commitment that we’d continue to work on our own mindset in relation to these themes and share our experiences with others. And ever keen to get the head start, looks like I’m first out of the blocks!
The theme I’ve chosen to focus on is relentless curiosity. The premis shared at the event was that we all need to seize opportunities to ask ‘why’ and understand why we do things the way we do, to identify seemingly small and iterative ways we can improve the way stuff gets done around here. Josh talked about this very concept in his last blog in fact.
In my mission to be more curious generally, I’m being a bit more curious about myself and why I do things the way I do and why I think the way I think. And as a result of that, I’ve recently just finished a really good book – ‘The subtle art of not giving a f***’ by Mark Manson. I would really recommend it. Except if you don’t like swearing. Then maybe not so much. But anyway, one of the ideas it talks about – which I’m summarising very simply – is accepting that whatever you believe, whatever you know, whatever you think, you are wrong. And so obsessing about reaching or knowing the right answer is a waste of time. Instead we each have to accept that and be open to learning and understanding, to strive to be a little less wrong.
Someone also recently said to me, that you can’t judge a decision by the quality of the outcome. Bad decisions sometimes have good outcomes and good decisions sometimes have bad ones and so you can only judge whether a decision is good or bad by the quality of the thinking that went into it.
Manson suggests some questions you can ask yourself to encourage you to be curious about the decisions, judgments or assumptions you’re making.
1) What if I’m wrong?
2) What would it mean if I were wrong?
3) Would being wrong create a better or a worse problem than my current problem, for both myself and others?
While the title of the blog may feel like it’s a bit negative, it’s actually a really helpful thought because for me, I’m finding I feel less defensive when challenged, I’m more comfortable admitting when I don’t know the answer and I’m feeling less frustrated with myself if I can’t see a way forward straight away. And let’s face it, a little humility is never a bad thing either. Might be time for me to retire my victory dance moves…especially as my children tell me it’s “definitely, so wrong, Mummy”.
Has anyone else read this book? What were the takeaways for you?
3 Comments
Sounds like a great read; one to add to the Amazon bill! A blog from Seth Godin (which I would recommend) talked to similar themes recently that resonated with me. When finding yourself in a situation where there is a difference of opinion, do not assume you are right and they are wrong. Start from the point that you are both wrong and then find the right together. It’s a mindset shift that has helped me to be more curious about other’s way of thinking, and how we can get to the right answer together. That way there is more likely to be mutual commitment to the solution.
Good reading Hannah – I’ll follow Mel and add to the shopping basket! Slightly different view, but I suspect with a similar outcome, take a look at Edward De Bono’s 6 thinking hats. It’s a principle used by a lot of global organisations, just to steer everyone to look at problems and propositions through different lenses, and not default to either their character default, or their pre-conceptions of “the right answer”.
There is a great book called ‘The Magic of Metaphor’ by Nick Owen where he brings together stories for trainers, teachers and thinkers… There is some great content and I use it often when I am looking for a different way to help explain something. The following is from the book and is sourced to Nick Hindley and Taoist tradition, it feels like it links to your point about obsessing about reaching or knowing the right answer is a waste of time.
Right and wrong are situational.
In the appropriate situation, nothing is wrong.
Without the appropriate situation, nothing is right.
What is right in one case is not what is right in another.
What is wrong in one case is not what is wrong in another.